Chad Henne. You know... that other, slightly smaller, guy from Michigan.

Who Would’ve Guessed It? Fucking me that’s who. More examples of beleaguered athletes that I like (and a few that I don’t) who have a fan-fucking-tastic coming out performance or have finally gotten their shit together after a drought of decency.

In the past two weeks we got to see an amazing comeback by the Bengals in honor of their defensive coordinator, coach Zimmer’s, recently deceased wife, a goal line stand by the Cardinals defense to seal the win against the Texans, or Ronnie Brown showcasing the importance of the Wildcat to the Dolphins with a winning touchdown run with only 0:06 remaining on the clock, the Patriots shit pumping of the Titans, and the Broncos somehow getting to 6-0. No matter how you look at it the past two weekends have been extremely entertaining, but beyond the big games there were a few players who really stood out that you wouldn’t have guessed. Whether starting in their first prime time game or defying the odds against the best defense of the past decade, it was that time for some unknowns and and a few unwanted.

Chad Henne: Finally!! The second the Dolphins drafted this guy I thought he should have been the starter. Yes, I know the other Chad (of the Pennington variety) was pretty amazing last year, but he doesn’t have the natural skill set that Henne brings to the table. In his college days, I watched Henne torch my beloved Penn State Nittany Lions numerous times, and despite my hatred for all Michigan players while they actually wear the maize and blue, I was excited to see Henne play once he got to the pros. Henne’s arm strength rivals that of the top in the league and it showed in week 5. After a bad 1-3 start and a big game against the Dolphins’ division rival, the New York Jets, Chad Henne stepped up and delivered with a 20 for 26, 241 yard, 2 touchdown performance that resulted in a passer rating of 130.4 and extended his record as a starter in the pros to 2-0. It looks like the Dolphins finally found their franchise quarterback to replace Dan Marino, well not actually its only been 2 games, but fingers crossed!!!

Cedric Benson: 5 years ago Benson was supposed to be the next great running back to come out of Texas, following in the footsteps of Priest Holmes, Ricky Williams, and Earl Campbell. But his time in Chicago was anything but that. After a lengthy holdout Benson was stuck behind Thomas Jones on the depth chart, and while Jones had the best season of his career at the time, Benson was frustratingly terrible with just over 200 yards rushing and no touchdowns. Then 3 years ago the Bears let Thomas Jones walk, effectively handing the reigns over to Benson. Even in a starting role Cedric was fucking piss poor. I had him on my fantasy team and lets just say I didn’t finish too well that year. But after the first 6 weeks of the 2009 season a case can be made for Benson being a top 5 NFL running back! Benson is currently 3rd in the league with 531 yards, and all it took was a change of scenery. In Cincinnati, Benson isn’t judged with the high standard of the 4th overall pick and it showed in week 5 when he gashed the previously impenetrable Baltimore defense for 120 yards on 27 carries, and he looked fucking good doing it (no homo). Benson is running with purpose, scarry as fuck 225 pounds of purpose, and next week he’s playing the team that gave up on him, the Chicago Bears. God I hope I get that game.

Kyle Orton: Now for another Chicago abortion. Kyle Orton I don’t apologize for constantly making fun of your goofy facial hair and your outlandish drinking habits, but I do apologize for thinking you were a terrible NFL quarterback. I now think you are somewhat worthy, but I still have my doubts. In the first 4 games of the season Orton was solid but not spectacular, but in the Broncos’ wins over the Patriots and the Chargers Orton has been fantastic throwing for 559 yards and 4 touchdowns. If Orton can keep playing like this and the Broncos make it to the playoffs (which if they don’t, this year is even bigger a fuck up than last) Kyle is on the fast track to a Pro Bowl appearance. Holy shit will Orton have fun in Hawaii, drinking mid day is encouraged, not frowned upon.

Miles Austin: HOLY FUCK. I actually shat myself when Dwayne Bowe caught that touchdown on 4th down. It’s been a tough stretch for ‘Boys fans everywhere, but losing to the fucking Chiefs? FUCK ME! Thank god Miles Austin pulled up his pants and dragged himself, and the team, out of the embarassing mess they got themselves in. 250 receiving yards and a few touchdowns later and Miles Austin is looking like the WR we were hoping Roy Williams would be. Finally! Hope in America.

Laurence Maroney: Maroney had gone from exciting rookie back on an explosive Patriots team in his first season, to irrelevant running back in an offense that only passed the ball in ‘07, to injured afterthought last year. Things were looking grim for Maroney, especially with Fred Taylor, Sam Morris, Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis, and Kevin Faulk crowding up the backfield. But after a few injuries and some luck Maroney got back to the top of the depth chart just as the Patriots decided do get their shit together on offense. In an ass raping (59-0) usually only seen in illegal porn, Maroney put up his first 100 yard game of the season with 123 yards and a touchdown on only 16 carries. Not bad for a guy who was on the path to early unemployment.

Ray Rice: For everyone who said Ray Rice was too small to translate his domination in college to the pros Ray wants to say something, “Fuck you”. Ray Rice has 766 total yards and 4 touchdowns in the first 6 games of the season, putting him on pace for a Marshall Faulk/Brian Westbrook esque 2000+ total yards type season. This past week Rice was the 7th best receiver and he’s a fucking running back. Keep this up and Ray Ray might start popping up in the discussion of the next great dual threat back, now that LT and Westbrook are over the top and Reggie Bush is… well he sucks.

Sidney Rice: I have drafted this fucking guy every year since his rookie season in every single one of my fantasy leagues thinking that this is the year he finally gets it together. Three years of mediocre fantasy teams later this guy finally decides to be every bit the amazing wideout that I thought he would be. As much as I hate to admit it, a lot of Rice’s success is thanks to the upgrade at the QB position, Brett actually knows how to hit Rice in stride as demonstrated in the fucking dart he threw Rice on their 50+ yard hook up. At 6′4 202 pounds I’m hoping for a lot more corner jump balls in the endzone for Rice who is easily the most physical receiver with Berrian and Harvin on the squad. Like most of my affinities for football players I have taken a lot of shit for years for liking this guy, but its finally fucking paying off!

That’s it for now, I’m due for some very necessary studying and you probably don’t care anymore. So enjoy the week, or don’t I could care less, but meet us back here for some more football fun next weekend.

-KC Roberts