Whoops, wrong Pacman. But still sweet.

By now fellow NFL fanatics, I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors swirling around the most notorious cornerback in (not in) the league, Pacman Jones. After beating up too many strippers in both Tennessee and then makin it rain again in Dallas (see here) Adam “Pacman” Jones was literally sent packin; to the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, the fuckin pride and joy of the highly competitive CFL (that’s the Canadian Football League for all you Dallas Cowboy fans). However, what you may not know friends, is that one of the two BeersWithBoggs offices is located in Winnipeg, and at least two of our three contributors are die-hard Blue and Gold fans. (Fuck you KC, the Argonauts suck more dick than LaVarneus Coles’ childhood…..pun). Once again, you read correctly: Potentially, Pacman was comin to play for the Bombers. The implications would have been huge.

It would have meant all of the following could have actually been viable scenarios for about 24 hours until Pacman fucked it up:

- The Bombers would have vastly improved, especially the defense.

- Winnipeg being put on the map for sports fans who care about things other than Bobby Hull. The media and attention surrounding Pac would have only been a good thing for Winnipeg, a city that hasn’t been in National sports headlines since…well…umm….heyy…..uhhh…John Toews went 3rd overall in the NHL draft? Who knows, but we’re fuckin due!!!

- RM Franks and TM Williamson could have walked into the hottest club in Winnipeg (Whiskey Dix no doubt, shout out), bought up the bar and walked out with all the honeys as per usual, and have Pacman come up to us and introduce himself just because we clearly run show in the 204.

-RM Franks could have been bong shopping on Corydon avenue (shout outs to City Haul) and seen the sickest, thickest, most bamboozled piece of glass for reefer smoking of all time, and of course would have tried to buy it. But the guy at the counter woulda said “No man, that’s for Pacman”. A similar situation actually did happen to a friend of mine in Phoenix…(cough, cough, Amare Stoudemire, cough).

-TM Williamson could have been attending one of the Bomber games and actually gotten to have seen Pacman play live!! TM Williamson is one of the hardcores who attends regular games you see. Most Winnipeg football fans live vicariously through the Minnesota Vikings. Not the man pictured below though!!!!

The Lakers have Jack Nicholson, The Knicks have Spike, We have the fuckin Dalai Lama

But Noooooooo, Pacman had to go and FUCK IT RIGHT UP. He said some stupid shit along the lines of not even knowing what league he was just acquired by (he called the CFL the UFL, like holy shit) and then went on to say that “Pain is temporary”. That’s fine, but the question he was answering was simply something along the lines of “How do you feel about playing up in Canada?” “Pain is temporary” was the respone. Like, don’t get too excited Pacman, it’s not THAT much fun up here. So basically David Asper, Mike Kelly and the rest of the Bomber organization released a statement saying “We’re only interested in athletes who will contribute to our organization on and off the field”. Like, the Bombers’ decision is understandable, but still a mistake overall.

The funny thing is, despite what Jones said, I think he still would have made a huge impact in the city on AND off the field. Jay Mariotti on Around The Horn mentioned that Teaser’s Burlesque Club, Sin City and a couple other TITTY joints (in capitals for no reason) around the city were already tightening security. Impact? I think so. And on the field, well, bottom line is we fuckin blow. If we could have gotten an NFL talent starting at the CB, well, fuckin sweet.

This, friends, is the Pacman in question.

By the way, did I mention Charles Rogers somehow got involved and then dropped by the Bombers in the mix of all this as well? Man, are the Blue Bombers trying to turn our city into the hub of underachievement? Not as long as BeersWithBoggs is here EH??!?