Tweedly deedly dee, tweedly deedly dee, tweedly deedly dee, tweedly deedly dee, They rock on their cellphones, all day long, Hoppin and a textin and singin their song. All the other birdies on professional caliber sports-blogging network street, love to hear the athletes go tweet tweet tweet.

Fuck Facebook!

Of course, with that slightly modified rendition from the Jackson 5, I am referring to twitter. What a fuckin lovely piece of work this social networking database is! Not only has my fanclub in Malaysia been up to date on the cranberries I spotted in my most recent dump, I also know what’s going on in the minds of professional athletes all around the globe!!! And yesterday, Chargers Cornerback and freakishly talented athlete Antonio Cromartie gave us a classic tweet. The man was apparently unhappy with the food at camp and decided to let the fans know.

It has since been erased but the tweet went something along the lines of “Damn, food at camp today was nastty!! Maybe that’s why we ain’t won no superbowl haha”.

Haha, Antonio. Little did u know that shortly after, the  Chargers’ Legume Chef picked up his Blackberry Storm to unleash a thundercloud of fury: “Man, if only Cromartie would stop guaranteeing interceptions and start playing some good man defense, we would have enough money for fine paprika!!”

That one isn’t exactly true but you get my jist. Anyway, The league fined AC $2500 for the tweet, opening up a new chapter in NFL fines. If only Plax had an accont.(Also, just as a sidenote, Cromartie’s twitter account is  under the name CrimeTime31. Such a Role Model for young athletes is this man!)

Other San Diego Chargers have also gotten in on the twittering fun. Shawne Merriman actually outdid Cromartie with one of the most boneheaded, spoiled athlete, paris hilton-like comments I’ve ever heard. In response to hearing about the fine, Merriman said:

“That’s steep man. That’s half a new set of rims or something. Those had better be some powerful words and they better be reaching a lot more than the 40,000 people I have right now.”

Yes Shawne, poor Antonio. That’s a whole HALF SET OF RIMS OR SOMETHIN. That’s how this man equates money??? How many rims its worth for his car??? L, O, FUCKING L. And then he says “those r some powerful words”. Yes, complaining about the food is some deep shit and I hope his words are being heard by many wisdom-hungry followers.

Anyway, the solution is simple. Get the headset off of Norm fucking Chow and get him an apron. The Chargers won’t be complaining about General Chow’s Spicy Pick 6 Chicken!!! It’ll be like PF Changs…all day everyday. Fuck, I wanna be a Charger.

Some of the San Diego squad however does not agree with all the tweeting. Philip Rivers and LT have both publicly bashed twitter and said they do not want anything to do with it. Norv Turner had this to say in respnse: “We’re trying to be open and give the fans a look at what we’re doing, but certainly we’re not going to go out of our way to give our opponents a competitive advantage or give them something that we feel should stay in our building”.  Ummmmmm, What?

Norv then tweeted “Anyone know where I can find some  effective facial moisturizer in this town?”  I mean Jesus Christ, this guy’s greatest motivation to win a Superbowl is simply to have an excuse to have a bucket of Gatorade dumped on his face!

Fuck my face!