Am I too lazy to photoshop a "D" over the "H"? You bet I am!

So I’m back after a short hiatus.  I would love to say that I was taking some time to compose an epic article for my return, but the truth is that the company I work for has moved to a new office, and my computer screen is now far more visible to my co-workers and supervisors.  This has resulted in me pulling back on the writing a little bit, as although I’ve never formally inquired, I’m almost positive that having words like “Doushmandzadeh” or the ever present “fuck” all over my screen when my supervisor comes calling would have a negative impact on my reference letter.

That said, I’m feeling the need to get something up, and what better way to get back into the game than the laziest possible way, a links post?  I’ll be trying to, at the very least, get one of these up every day, even if it means posting it during the evening/night, when I am away from the prying eyes of the office.

This first story is a shocker, because you’d never expect an NFL player (and a wide receiver at that) to have an over inflated sense of self worth or a poor grasp of reality.  But apparently, in a totally reasonable and well thought out decision, TJ Houshmandzadeh is boycotting Madden ‘10 because he feels that his own rating of 91 simply isn’t high enough to make him pick up the XBox sticks.  My first reaction was to see if there is another TJ Houshmandzadeh that had somehow slipped past my radar and deserved a mid-90s rating.  Surprisingly, despite the name being so common, there is not.  This is same Housh that amassed 904 yards and 4 TDs last year, his worst statistical season since 2002.  904 yards was good for 29th in the league last year.  I would say he was in Kevin Walter territory, but Walter doubled him up in the TD department.  And just for the record, Kevin Walter territory is not the territory I’m looking for my 91 rated receiver to be in when I’m playing franchise mode.  Consider this, TJ: Calvin Johnson had 1,331 yards and 12 TDs while playing for the fucking Lions last season.  He is rated a 92.  You should be fucking ecstatic about a 91.  Other, better receivers should be complaining that they got rated lower than you and your stupid little ponytail.  (Fox Sports)

So if you read other, more thorough sites than this one, you may have heard that Lebron James got dunked on at his basketball camp by a high schooler.  Lebron, being the self deprecating class act that he is, had Nike track down any video evidence of said dunk and confiscate it so that no one would know The King was dunked on by a mere pauper.  (There’s that lack of self-awareness and poor grip on reality amongst professional game players popping up again.)  Of course, Lebron forgot to take into account the presence of the internets, and of course, the cameraman in question blabbed to any media outlet he could find, so of course, Lebron getting rid of the tapes of the dunking on has become a much bigger deal than the simple fact that he was dunked on.  Caught up?  Good.  Today, TMZ purchased a version of the tape that had not yet been confiscated.  That’s right…TMZ negotiated a price, presumably involving real money, for a video of a summer camp scrimmage.  The video, predictably, sucks balls.  Lebron made a big deal out of all of this by confiscating the tapes, but considering the epic shittiness of the video quality, he probably would’ve been better off simply saying “Um…that’s not me.”  (TMZ)

Ed O’ Bannon is the lead plaintiff in a class action lawsuit against the NCAA, representing all NCAA Football and Basketball players.  They want the NCAA to stop making money off of them, or something.  Rafael Araujo, Jay Williams, and Michael Olowakandi support this movement!  Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul, and anyone else who didn’t, you know, totally flame out as a pro could care less.  Meanwhile, Charles O’ Bannon is playing basketball for Toyota in Japan, and will presumably be looking to get in on as much of this settlement as he can. (Yahoo/Rivals)

Reason #23,427 not to give a flying fuck about the UFL: JP Losman just signed on with the Las Vegas squad, and “will arguably be the face of the league.”  Why would the UFL allow this news to get out in advance?  They should have kept this under wraps until the absolute last minute.  Saying JP Losman is the face of your league two months prior to the first game is like announcing an impending restaurant opening by saying the restaurant will specialize in Spam based dishes.  Why tell everyone your own product is going to be shit before they find out for themselves?  Also, Losman claiming that this was some sort of choice for him is a better joke than I could ever make up. (ESPN)

Finally, a story so phenomenal it needs very little commentary.  Joe Finley, ex-UND defenseman and current Washington Capitals prospect, was arrested for, as best I can tell, throwing a bunch of shit around (including a lawn mower!) and busting up the aforementioned shit in his yard.  He then gave the arresting officer a fake name.  No word on whether he was fucking hammered, but let’s make the story a lot more fun and assume that he was.  Most awesome thing he’s ever done, you ask?  Not quite!  Finley also slashed the Wisconsin Badgers mascot this season for getting up in his goaltenders grill during warmup.  If this guy will take out a mascot during warmup for getting to close to the goalie, imagine what he’ll do to someone that cheap shots Oveckin in a couple years.  The “call up Joe Finley” movement should be starting immediately in Washington. (Puck Daddy)